This is one of my favourite parts of any ceremony as it allows each couple to individually put their stamp on their wedding.
For some people, getting their wedding vows down on paper can be a daunting task. How do you put all of your thoughts, feelings, memories and hopes for the future into just a few lines? How do you remember all of that and say it right with all those people watching? It’s that one moment during your wedding day when all eyes are on you, but you will be purely focused on your partner. You will want to get those words right!
Start writing simple words or bullet points down on what you want to say and then weave more text around these words/points. Write-read-check and check again!
Follow these steps that will help you write your simple genuine vows and remember as you read your vows, to look up and gaze into your partner's eyes - oh yeah!
Step 1: Seek inspiration
Music is a fantastic place to start when writing your vows. Put your favourite type of music on (ok so heavy metal may not work as well), and relax. There may be some cracking lines from your favourite songs together that you can incorporate or take inspiration from.
Step 2: Decide the right mix
It is a good idea to speak to your partner before starting to write your vows. Decide whether you would like the same vows or whether you would like your own. It’s also a good idea to agree on length if you are writing your own separate vows so it’s a nice balance on the day.
It may be worth deciding whether you are going to keep the vows as a surprise or share them with each other before your wedding day.
Step 3: Map it out
Now you have some ideas for content, it’s time to get a draft together, even add some appropriate humour! Think about mapping it out in the following way:
Affirm... your love
Relive... some memories
Praise... your partner
Offer... promises or words along the lines of I promise, I will, I pledge…
Close... with a final vow
Think outside the box and what makes sense to you both. It’s all about making it personal to the two of you!
Step 4: Consider the timings
Once you have your first draft, read your vows out loud to get a true sense of how they sound. Whilst there’s no time limit, there’s usually enough opportunity in a two minute vow reading to express your love and have your loved ones who are listening to the beautiful words, get their tissues out!
Step 5: Read them aloud
Once you’ve read them out loud and have confirmed what you want to say, read them out loud again. Keep to a steady pace and take deep breaths before if you think you’ll be nervous on the day.
Step 6: Print your vows
I invite couples to send their vows to me in advance – not to check, but to print off on card for them to read from on the day. Adlibbing or relying on your memory on your wedding day doesn’t always go to plan, so take my advice and have a backup to read from – just in case!
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